The Beginning of a New Chapter

 

I have learned so much this year. It would take days for me to go through all the life lessons I could now apply to my life. I am not the same person I was coming into this program. God led me here to grow. To learn about myself. To learn about Him. This is the last week I will be here at Trek-X and realizing that is almost overwhelming. I am going to miss Nashville, the morning Bible studies, the people. Some of the people here have made a huge impact in my life and it is sad to leave them. I will definitely stay in touch with all of them because I know they are going to do amazing things with their lives. I am really excited to see how God is going to use each of them. Although it is sad to leave, I know it is the right decision. So many opportunities have opened up for me in Memphis. It's scary and exciting to see each step I take leading me closer to my goal. In the next few years I could be living in Guatemala. I could be working in an orphanage. I just have to finish school. Yes, I have a long way to go but I will have many opportunities to make a difference right where I live. Working downtown, working soup kitchens, starting Bible studies...there is so much that I could do just in my hometown. Yes, I can't wait for the future but I will not be stagnant. I am closing one chapter of my life but opening a new one.

Problem? or blessing?

  

I think my problem is I care too much. But honestly, when I think about it, is that really a problem? Some might say it is but we are called to love our neighbors (Mark 12:31) and we are called to imitate Christ, (Ephesians 5:1) who loved those who most people thought were unloveable. So maybe caring too much is not a problem as much as it is a blessing. A blessing that comes with a burden for others. I would rather care too much than not care at all. There are days where I feel burdened for the people in my life. Friends and family members that I know do not have a relationship with Christ. People I could witness to all day and they would still act as if I hadn't said a word. Sometimes our words and not needed. God's word is enough. His Spirit is enough. I could rant for days about my relationship with Christ and it have no affect. Then God could show Himself through nature and their eyes could instantly be opened and they become a believer. I AM NOT NEEDED. He chooses to use me. Just because I cant "save" all my friends and family members doesn't mean God can't. I can't give up. No matter how many times I am turned down. No matter how many doors are slammed in my face. As a follower of Christ, I am committed to telling others about Him. And maybe that is just by living my life. Being the example. I have messed up so much in the past but I am forgiven. I can't dwell on my past mistakes. The only thing I can do is learn from it and continue to pursue Him in all that I do. Maybe others will see that change in my life and they will see Christ through it. There is no limit to what God can do. And that, in itself, is so encouraging.

Change of Plans

           

I constantly have to remind myself to let go and give everything to Christ. I hold on so tightly to worldly things, to people and unorganized plans I can't imagine getting rid of. In my eyes my plan works, so why would I want anything else? I'm in control, why would I want to change that? But when it fails, I am back to square one. I think God sometimes lets my plans fail just to remind me that I need Him. And it works. I can't see the big picture, but He can. My heart breaks when I long for something that is unreachable. But maybe that is God's way of telling me no, or at least not now. Maybe that's His way of saying wait, I have something better in store for you. In the process of waiting for what is to come, He is teaching me Patience; something I most definitely lack. Realizing this gives me a reason to rely on Him even more. In the areas that I fall short, He is sufficient. I love Jeremiah 29:11- "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" I have heard this verse many times, but lately it stands out. God has a plan for my life. Even when I find myself distressed over a changed schedule, I have to realize God sees the bigger picture, even when I cannot. But it does not stop at Jeremiah 29:11. Verses 12-13 say, "Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart." Not only does He have a plan for my life, He listens to me when I cry out to Him. He hears His children who seek Him and I find that so encouraging. I don't serve a silent God. I just have to be patient and serve Him and watch what He does with my life. That excites me to no end. I have no idea where I will be in the next five years. But what I do know is that I am willing to go anywhere God leads me.

My Prayer for You

"I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together will all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." -Ephesians 5:16-19